Surrender to Life

No matter how good meditation and contemplative prayer may be, they are not ends in themselves. Francis Bennet, my spiritual director, and author of I Am That I Am, says that our meditation practice is just that – practice for life. When we meditate we are developing the skill and the discipline of surrender.

When we meditate we surrender with every breath to whatever is going on inside or outside us in the moment. Whatever thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions or distractions are happening either in our mind or in the environment around us; we don’t try to stop it or change it. We try simply to notice that it is happening without getting caught up in it.

Ultimately, however, surrender to life, surrender to God is the essential practice. It is this that will set us free from the struggle and suffering of life in the relative world, and help us to enter the Kingdom of God – the absolute reality that exists deep in the heart of creation.

Endless Surrender

There is no end to this surrender
Head bows eternally
to the Beloved
enthroned in my heart
Defenceless and unresisting
in the face of all that is
Everything is accomplished
Nothing missed
Perfection and chaos
Stillness and motion
Entwined forever
in this present moment

The whole universe flows
Unfolding patterns
around an unseen centre
Hollow identity collapses
into deep silence
No doer is here
Only the radiance
of purest love
dances in limitless space
An extravagant offering
of longing and reverence
towards the One

Vital Decision

How we choose to engage with life is possibly one of the most vital decisions we will ever make. Do we choose the path of resistance or the path of surrender?

Of course we all want to believe that we are living a surrendered life. The truth is, however, that resistance in some shape or form is the ego’s habitual response. When faced with the events and circumstances of life – good or bad, the ego always seems to want them to be something other than they are. Perhaps we don’t want them to be happening at all, or maybe we want to change them in some way. Possibly these events don’t conform to our expectations of how things should be, so we try any one of a number of strategies to deal with the dissonance. We could simply ignore and deny the reality of life, or perhaps we push back and fight against what we don’t want to accept. More subtly, we can sometimes try to manipulate things, so as to make them more to our liking.

The path of the mystic on the other hand is one of total surrender to life. We could think of it as the path of absolute abandonment to the present moment.

Active Surrender

Some people may be concerned, believing that surrender could lead us into some sort of passivity. After all it goes against the grain not to do something when life hands us situations we don’t want. Even more so when we see injustice or disaster befall another person. We want to engage, we want to intervene, we want to change things for the better. The reality, however, is that surrender is not passive at all. We cannot use it as an excuse to stick our head in the sand.

We do not only surrender to the external events of life – that could indeed result in a passive cop out. We surrender as well to the internal responses of our heart. When we surrender to the heart we find ourselves acting with love and compassion towards those who are hurt or broken. We find ourselves supporting those who are downtrodden by injustice, poverty or misfortune. Surrender is a stepping INTO the flow life, not a stepping out.

Frequently, in the Gospel accounts, we hear of Jesus being ‘moved with compassion’ just prior to performing some miracle of healing. His heart is so surrendered to the eternal source that the right action or non-action naturally flows out of the movement of the Spirit.

The ego resists and intervenes based on a false perception of reality spun by the mind. The surrendered heart, however, allows God to act perfectly through us.

Unconditional Surrender

The mystic is utterly surrendered to everything. Nothing is excluded. God, our Beloved is a consuming fire, and to surrender to Him is to allow our own hearts to be set ablaze by our proximity to the raging wild-fire of His love. Everything we have, everything we know, everything we are, is fuel for the burning. Every preference, every bit of resistance, every attachment, anything at all that might cause us to put conditions on life, goes into the flames.

Of course this doesn’t happen all at once. Typically the spiritual seeker begins by holding many things back. There are things we want to save from the flames of love. There are things we are attached to, things we don’t want to let go – you can take anything Lord, but please leave me with …

We develop a comfortable theology of a God who panders to the self-indulgent demands of ego. Whatever ego wants, whatever makes ego comfortable, we can have. But this is just self-deception. The uncomfortable, if not downright scary truth, however, is that God is a relentless and demanding lover. He wants everything, because he wants our whole heart, and until all that other stuff is burnt up, we cannot fully connect with our heart. There isn’t a single thing we cherish or want to hold on to that He will not take from us, if we are ready to offer it up to Him.

However, if we aren’t willing to offer it up, he won’t take it. Our Beloved never forces us, because love forced is not love at all. He is a lover not a rapist. When the Beloved calls us, it is with an invitation not a command. He invites us to join with Him, to participate fully in the infinite and eternal flow of Spirit that we call life.

In the Flow

I used the word ‘vital’ about the choice we have to make. This is not an accident – the word ‘vital’ literally means concerning life. It is what we could think of as a life and death decision. Perhaps that sounds a bit melodramatic, but this decision – resistance or surrender, is actually about whether we make a choice to go with the flow of life or against it.

The breath of God, Spirit is an eternal flow from the source, in and through everything that exists. This is breath and life that fills and flows ceaselessly throughout all creation. It is the flow of love between God – the eternal source and His creation.

When we resist life, we go against the flow, effectively stepping out of the current of love and life. Our ego’s resistance cuts us off from the source and anchors us in the relative world of time and death.

When we surrender to life we step into and remain in that flow – immersed in everything that is – the actuality of life. We ourselves become part of the flow, partners in this great and ceaseless movement of Spirit, of life-breath. God breathes life and love, out, into and through the whole creation. The love and devotion of the mystic, the crazy, surrendered lover willing to give all in pursuit of the Beloved, is the return flow of breath. It is Spirit returning to the source. God inhaling His own life and being through our surrendered hearts.

The call to the mystical path is a call to love and be loved. To surrender all we have and all we are, with every breath, in every circumstance. The choice is always available, and the response is ours alone. Today, right now, how do you choose?


Comments

Surrender to Life — 145 Comments

  1. Wow. Challenging. But exciting… I wonder, increasingly, if we human beings /doings (particularly in our mega busy western culture) ever REALLY ‘get’ the surrender thing without some form of major crisis/ ‘stripping away’, where we have little choice but to surrender… ??

    Then of course, post-surrender, when ‘all is well’, or at least functional, off we go with our own busy lives and plans again… Agggh!…. I’m amazed at the grace and kindness of God in all our struggles and confusion with this stuff…. and the 40 year detours we tend to embark on! ….Not sure I would be quite as patient as God.

    Yet recently, through just such a crisis… I s’pose you could call it a fairly major mid-life crisis, where life just was NOT working out remotely like ‘it was supposed to’…. and as for all those ****ing dreams and promises!… I found myself in a really low and desperate place… and yes… again, had no choice but to surrender…. For the 1031st time!!… yet this time it seemed different.

    For one, I suppose desperation is relative…. People endure and do desperate things when the motivation is strong enough… and yet ‘surrendering’ seems the opposite of ‘doing’. I do wonder (… I wonder a lot, about a lot of things!)… if it is because we so-called ‘believers’ have such a mediocre at best, very dodgy at worst, concept of God, and for whatever reason, …. (mostly taught/ interpreted through life experiences, I guess).. have no clue of His relentless, almost too good to be true, love and passion for us (ALL people)… and therefore, It is virtually impossible, if not, would be downright stupid to surrender to such a ‘monster’, or at least inconsistent/ temperamental deity.

    I know I do tend to be a drama queen, but for me, the recent crisis, was pretty much a life or death thing… I was in a place with life and ‘my faith’… where it was ‘on the line’… Either it’s real or it’s not. All that stuff, promises in Gods word etc. are either true or just someones rantings, and own experiences. God is either good, or just playing some kind of perverse game, where the proverbial carrot is JUST out of reach. It kind of feels like it was almost a ‘final death’ of the old, false self, ego, tantrum throwing child…

    And yes… I’m very aware ‘the old self’/stuff is quite capable of resurrection!… (Just spent a weekend doing diy, attempting to mend and re-plumb in a cheap, leaking 20 year old loo and cistern, old fittings incompatible with new, before the DRY concrete floor can receive its new, posh laminate wood strips… THIS weekend, and NO later!!)… Right.

    However, I have never known such a dramatic and prolonged sense of ‘God’s flow’, and the reality and exhilaration of ‘Kingdom life actually working’, and God being as good as His word!! Sure, it’s been quite scary at times, as SO dramatic and wonderful, yet extremely challenging too… and a sense of being ‘out of control’ tho actually not…. because self control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and WE still get to make choices… And HAVE to make choices, preferably wise, sensible ones, with our God-given ‘nouse’! … (Like … somehow, getting enough rest/ time out)! What a flipping’ steep learning curve. Far from being passive, I seem to have been ‘enabled’ to do a phenomenal number of things, that have needed to be done, on top of a whole load of new stuff, divine set-ups/ appointments etc. Yet, ever more aware of the need to slow down, as often as poss take time out to be quiet, re-boot, and just BE, in Gods presence, (Like we’re ever out of it!.. I know, Giles!)

    So, yes it’s early days, and I am not advocating ANY kind of formula. I hate formulas, and none of them seem to work, with God at least!… but I do feel that gutsy honesty, and genuine dialogue with God (even when it’s easier to just ‘numb out’, take ones ‘drug of choice’ or just get busy!)… is, or at least has for me been a significant ‘key’ towards being able to trust God enough to surrender…

    It’s ok to tell God you don’t trust Him, or even like Him… He can handle it… (I do now, by the way! Trust Him, and like Him).. but I kind of get the impression, He just wants to hear from us, and for us to be honest. I grew up with a terrible concept of God, hell, fire and brimstone, as well as a remote, angry father (and overactive devil!)… Nothing I did was ever ‘enough’… so one of my life long ‘gutsy prayers’ was ‘God, I just need to KNOW that you love me.’ Finally answered about 4-5 years ago, with some significant wobbles, major doubts since… but essentially now ‘get it’.

    I’m reminded of that verse, ‘He desires truth in the innermost parts’… What a waste of time, ‘pretending’ with God!.. Tho, I now believe, He is SO patient, and understands why we ‘do all that stuff’…. but, I think it does keep us going round in circles. I heretically wonder, if ‘impatience’ might be a virtue! … That’s one I have by the truckload. I am getting increasingly naffed-off with going round in circles. Life is too short.

    I guess I am a fairly tenacious, all or nothing, ‘want it all, or nothing at all’ kind of person…. and although life rarely works according to OUR plan… I really am beginning to believe there IS a plan, which really, really is a wonderful adventure, tailor made to the way we are each wired ( or the other way round)… and one which brings life and light wherever we go. The more I live, the more I believe that God is not only interested in our needs but deep desires, and even our quirky preferences, and slightly silly wishes!… but not on OUR terms, unless of course, ours become His.

    Well, that’s quite enough pontification for one day… Thanks again Giles, for the provocation/ interesting reflections. Rachel

    • Thanks Rachel. The thing about surrender as you suggest is that it often takes us finding ourselves a situation that that we have no choice about, before we begin to ‘get it.’ Surrender is really just another way of saying ‘dying to self’. However, the ‘death’ is progressive and ongoing.

      Truly I’m not sure there is ever and end to surrender as long as the ego remains. Total surrender means that there is no ‘I’ left to resist. Even identity is surrendered. I think of Enoch, who walked so closely with God that he merged with Him and as the Bible says ‘was not’.

      • Mmmm… O Rats! Thought I was fairly ‘dead’! Kind of joking. I’m sure you’re right. Tho I’m sure it must help a bit, when one is starting to experience, or at least has an idea of some of the benefits of being ‘dead/dying to the old self’! ??… It was said of Jesus.. ‘For the joy set before him, He endured the cross’….. Sounds like He needed ‘a jolly good reason to go through stuff’!…. so I’m sure it helps when we at least have some grasp of ‘the good (amazing) stuff’ we’re dying for!… hopefully would help us ‘squeal a little less loudly’ during the process! ….. I think I must have heard one too many awful sermons about ‘Dying to self!’…. Does it show?!… Spent most of my life trying to kill it off… but was killing off the good, new, true-self bits too…. So have just been ‘dead’ … to everything, until quite recently
        …. I think I’m kind of ‘getting it’ now, and the point of it, so doesn’t seem quite so grim!

        Reluctant Surrenderer ! – Rachel

  2. Musing aloud… surrendering sounds sterile and self-eliminating if I have in mind that it means I must dissolve without trace into [what already IS, without me being in the picture.] It feels more comforting to see myself as a pebble in the stream, with the river water rushing over and around me, and me not resisting. But in that case, the pebble itself is eroding, albeit very slowly. So in the end that’s just a slowed down version of completely dissolving. Hmm… Connection in relationship is a bit like melting and coalescing into the other, without ever completely losing the distinction. What about seasons. I’ve found contemplative stillness sometimes has a sense of spring, sometimes summer, autumn or winter, without any of them having the final say…. Ironically, perhaps the closest I’m getting to finding an equivalent way to conceptualise surrender is the very act of nearly but never quite finding the ultimate the metaphor for it. The process eludes my control because it’s always ALSO something I hadn’t bargained for yet. :-)

  3. I know what you mean Sarah. I think the fear that surrender means the dissolving of our individuality is very common. It is quite hard (perhaps impossible) to get our heads around the idea that in an absolute sense there is no dichotomy between our individual selves and our unified SELF in God. I think yo may be close to it with your analogy of the cycle of the seasons. I like to think of it as a perpetual enfolding of the individual self into the oneness and unity of God, and a simultaneous unfolding of the unity of God into billions of individual expressions. Neither is more true than the other. Both are required in order to experience the fullness of His presence.

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